Desiree G.

Whether famous or infamous, Ted's is the perfect dive bar: dim lights, cheap drinks, hot and hospitable barmaids, and an 8-hour happy hour. What more do you need? Located in the quiet(er) South of Fifth neighborhood of South Beach, Ted's is at the very tip of Miami Beach, only about three blocks to the public beach and Ocean Drive. It's in the same building as the Big Pink, right across the street from Story (a nightclub). The bartenders are quick to greet customers warmly and are attentive and accommodating throughout your stay, not to mention very easy on the eyes. The 12-8 happy hour brings many people who live and/or work in the area here several times a week, allowing for a tightly-knit community of regulars. One of the few venues tuned into the sports scene, Ted's offers specials for most college and professional football games. Great spot to meet local and visiting football fans alike! Note: Like many venues in Miami, smoking is allowed inside, so don't expect people not to take that liberty.
(5)
Steven W.

Its like going back in time for dive bars. People are smoking at the bar right next to me, I guess you can smoke anywhere in this place. I havent seen that in years. In any event, the girls working the bar were very nice, attentive, and cute and I liked the place. I went here alone as I am from out of town but it was still fun to talk to the locals and have a few bud lights. Dont come for the atmosphere or decor unless you like second hand smoke I did not order any food but would not be adverse to it. I would come back to this place with friends.
(3)
Di W.

So glad to have made acquaintance with this fab little dive bar. We wandered down from the Hilton Bentley in search of good beer and a good place to watch football. The divey bar is warm and welcoming- quite unassuming but very comfortable. Our bartender, Sasha, was super nice and attentive. Beer prices were quite reasonable. The beer selection was dismal; craft beer trend has definitely not found this area. Great way to spend an afternoon away from the neon hype of south beach.
(3)
Gabriel T.

Nice bar!! I caution you this is a real bar with bar food. Don't come in here ordering a " Cosmo" or expect to over pay for beer. Wings were good to.
(4)
Steven S.

Awesome dive bar near the action in south beach. Great bartenders and even met the owner....not named Ted! Great place to watch your favorite team.
(5)
Jose A.

This place is a blast.. Had many goo times here . Not the type a place to take. Your mom though .
(5)
Tony S.

Definitely a dive bar, which I'm personally into, but this spot leaves a lot to be desired for someone into dive bars. Not much in the way of atmosphere. The lighting and decor are terrible. Basically just a spot to grab a drink and inhale cigarette smoke (Suuuuper smoky). The only reasons Teds doesn't get two stars from me are friendly staff and the nachos I got here were actually quite good.
(3)
Sarah X.

Dive bar for sure. Lots of smoke. No ventilation Lots of tvs. Kinda loud. The wine was really bad. Service was good. I'm not into dive bars, But even if I was I don't think I would like this one.
(2)
Monica S.

If there's something about the Deuce that skeeves you out, you might improve your luck over at Ted's, the South of Fifth divey neighbor with a -touch- more class. On any given night you're bound to find locals from all walks of life drinking away. In fact, the crowd's so darn eclectic, you may find a retired millionaire sitting to your right and a starving artist over to your left. If pool's your game, you'll notice a table at the ready and where music's concerned, the high tech jukebox offers equal opportunity to play your favorites. Drinks are cold, credit cards are accepted (smoking is unfortunately too), and characters are welcome.
(4)
Court S.

Great little dive bar with great people. Stop in for real conversations and take a break from the stuffy South Beach pretentious a-hole's!!! ANTONIA THE BARTENDER IS AMAZING!!!!!!
(5)
Anish E.

Gotta be honest, I was pretty buzzed when I stepped in and the mile long walk to the place had made me pretty thirsty. Lucky for me the drinks aren't expensive and the beer isn't bad. They've got a pool table so if you like pool, there's that. But what I really liked was that the place was chill, the music was actually good which is pretty rare on south beach and I love how the staff try to wear as little clothes as possible which is fucking great because they're all pretty hot. You should definitely check it out if you aren't doing anything on a tuesday. Why tuesday? You figure it out.
(4)
Maria K.

Teds is laid back fun neighborhood bar. The drinks are cheap and if your in the industry it's buy one get one free! The bartenders are fast and most are sweet. Fun place to hang out on a weeknight or to watch a game. The bar food is typical frozen bar food, avoid.
(3)
Kevin C.

This dive bar inexplicably has a lot of beautiful women frequent it. It's honestly very bizarre. I'm not talking about cute hipster girls who would normally hang out in a bar like this. I'm talking about women dressed to the 9's ready to go to a club and they just meander in this seedy sports bar. Hey...I'm not complaining. TV's are plentiful and they have a pool table too. The bartenders are always very friendly and hot and they even have a circulating bartender who will bring you a drink so you don't have to spend 10 minutes waiving your credit card. Fun place at a reasonable price.
(4)
Christina T.

Love love love. Definitely our spot to hit up when needing a break from the Miami "scene". Bartenders are fast and super nice, good bar food, juke box, great prices...what more could you want? This is my sweatpants and no mascara hideout...nice change of pace :)
(5)
Johnny T.

I don't think anyone comes to Ted's. You *wind up* here -- usually at some forsaken hour and the duration of your time here, you valiantly struggle to put together the thoughts that trace your steps to how you came to be sitting on a bar stool being overserved. But, it's late and you've been drinking for a couple of days and you're not even quite sure if you're awake, so you order another, open your mouth, suck one down, stumble to the bathroom, stumble back to the bar, hit on a bartender, have her pity you, pass out for a little while and, somehow, wake up in your bed with your kidneys inside your body and your wallet inside your pants... vowing to never allow such an experience to happen again... until it does. Or, is that just me?
(3)
Chris C.

Anyplace where you don't have to wade through a sea of people to get to the bar is a good place in my book. Add the decent prices and hot bartenders and we have a winner!
(4)
Rebecca C.

Ah yes, Ted's. We had some good memories here on my first and only visit during our birthday pubcrawl. We tried to jam pack almost 20 people into a tiny, cozy sized bar and it all worked out well in the end. The photos were a bit squashed, with some people cropped out of the group shot. Drinks were continuously served and no one was empty handed. Whatever I was drnking, or handed, tasted just right. The bathroom was nice, the bar is a huge centerpiece in the middle. The name doesn't do it justice. It wasn't what I really imagined after hearing about this place. Overall I'd definitely come back here again as it was my favorite stop on the pubcrawl.
(4)
Dennis M.

Divey as shit but they play the actual sound from the game and the beers/food is priced right. Pool table, smoking, old men and slutty chicks are running the game here.
(3)
Ryan P.

I don't get what all the fuss is about. It is a fake dive bar in my opinion... dive bar decor with expensive drinks and rude fake tit low cut shirt bartenders. Good location but if I'm going to pay full price I'm not going to do it in a shithole.
(3)
Erica K.

Such a fun 'off the beaten path' dive bar that still is close enough to the action for either a pre-game or post-game drink. Its a super chill vibe where you can play pool and order a cheap beer and feel at home. Loved that they have touch tunes so custom music it is. Whenever I'm in miami i'll be sure to pop in here for a drink and a chill time.
(5)
Nikel M.

Get away from all the hype of South Beach, and just grab a beer with some locals and a cool vibe. Steps away from the beach. Get your money taken playing pool or throw it all in the music machine and control the vibe.
(5)
Brandon W.

Awesome dive bar and staple at the beach. Staff is great and the drinks are cheap, especially during HH. If you love dive bars, this is a must stop for a few.
(4)
Heidi P.

This place is NOT a tourist place, which was great. The drinks are generous but the food is your average bar food. I had the taquitos which were pretty good but then came back for the chili cheese fries and was not great but edible. The bartenders I've had are super nice. I liked this place because it reminded me of other dive bars in Seattle but for the most part not exceptionally impressed so three stars it is.
(3)
Max T.

Finally found a respectable dive in Miami. Ted's Hideaway felt like a Chicago dive to me from the moment I crossed the threshold. It was full of locals, some beautiful and some semi-beautiful servers, a huge selection of beers, a late night kitchen, and a cigarette vending machine with the old pull knobs. Nostalgia. I happen to prefer dive bars without always having to prefer dive bar beers like PBR. One of the largest selections of beer I came across was here and all on ice. I drank my Chicago local Lagunitas and this is the only place I found that had it during my stay. The servers were all on point. They frequently checked back and were nice. There were many of them rotating stations but it wasn't a nuisance. I must have clocked in almost a full time work shift at this bar and at 3 or 4am the kitchen was still open. People talk about the burgers but I came across some real good sweet chili wings and mozzarella sticks. The aesthetics of the bar are like you would expect. Looks like it should be remodeled but wouldn't dare at the same time as it should be. Large bar in the center, pool table on one side, and more seating on the other. If I ever had to move to Miami, and I wish that on no one, then I would spend time at work and then at Ted's. Also if you're catching a Lyft or Uber try to communicate that you are here because they will circle the nightclub half a block up. In a perfect world it'd be vice versa.
(5)
Dinesh A.

Not to bad. I would want to give it a 3.5 but I rounded up cause they had good employees and music. Had a nice lagunitas IPA with my burger. The chips and fries were pretty good too. I came here cause it was the only place open past midnight on a Monday night. And turned out to be great.
(4)
Kelly G.

I am a fan although something about this place erks me but not in a bad way. It is dark, divey, weird, and fun at the same time. This place is a staple on South Beach. Located in the neiborhood of SOFI (south of fifth), it is the only real dive bar left in the area. I LOVE THAT THEY HAVE KALIK, my favorite beer. Jukebox plays all the jams, all the time. Food is EH, but who goes to a dive bar for food? The service is always spot on and beautiful I may add. Keep up the good work Ted's!
(4)
Lucas V.

What can I say, that's my kind of place. Came alone watch the NFL kickoff game, and the bartender girls made me feel at home and happy (and they are really nice to look, witch is a big plus). Awesome beer - that's cold and cheap, if you don't know - awesome service, awesome atmosphere. It is indeed a nice place to go!
(5)
Alick W.

Ted's Hideaway is a pretty good dive bar in South Beach. Customer service is great here. We were greeted immediately upon entering and asked if we wanted a drink. What makes Ted's a good bar is that they have servers that work the floor and wait at the bar to get drinks for you. All the servers were friendly always checked to see if we needed anything. This bar has a pool table and big screen tvs. Beers were priced reasonably: $5 for a bud light, $6 for a Blue Moon. The bar is square and in the center so even though it's a little bit of a tight space in there, you never really feel cramped. Bar is open til 5:00 in the morning. The only drawback of this bar is that people smoke in there and it can be hard to get away from. Overall a Ted's is a good chill time in South Beach.
(5)
Sergio F.

The name is certainly fitting, as it is "hidden away" from the usual glamour of South Beach. However, it hits the spot for a laid back Saturday night watching sports! I stopped by Ted's on Paul W.'s "Impromptu Hockey Night" UYE (sorry about the Penguins :() and walked in to an awesome mash-up of 90's Rock and Hip-Hop (such as Linkin Park and Jay-Z) and familiar Yelper faces. Suddenly, hazy memories of a pub crawl past came flowing back as smoothly as the Stellas I enjoyed (including one with an orange slice!) and lovely lady bartenders in short shorts. There were also plenty of TV's to watch said hockey game as well as the Heat come back for a win. They also have Jager on tap! I can see this as a future celebration spot.... With plenty of tagging , band stickers and a dysfunctional towel dispenser the bathroom called out dive bar, along with the classic red brick wall. The non-Yelp crowd was pretty eclectic, and complemented our conversations to make for a fun and relaxed Saturday evening. I look forward to coming back!
(4)
Allen F.

$46.84! My eyes are blurry from drinking all night and the cigarette smoke permeates every pore of my body, so I squint at the slip of paper in my hand one more time to make sure the bill is correct. I mean, this is, after all, South Beach and I have been here the better part of 4 hours, downing beers and playing pool. This is what I am used to paying for only a coupla drinks in this overpriced haven of tourists we call South Beach, not for a fun night of drinking and camaraderie with friends and strangers, surrounded by smokin' hot bartenders and a well-stocked jukebox. I squint again and smile. Yep! I love this place and this is only one reason. Ted's Hideaway is a dive. It is a dive on South Beach that is tucked away half a block from the ocean and a stumble away from Big Pink (where you can put some food in that alcohol-filled stomach afterwards). When you come here, you find locals, people In the Biz and others who just want to grab some cold drinks and catch a conversation with friends and strangers. Nothing is forced. Everything here just works. There are no Affliction shirts, Yolo-Bro meatheads or iPhone-obsessed girls making constant duckfaces to their phone cameras to upload to Facebook! It's small and center-pieced by a bar that is always packed with people vying for the attention of some of the hottest and most pleasant bartenders in South Florida who oblige with sincerity and excellent attention. This is where you come before you go out, or after you've been out drinking or when you just want to chill, booze out with some friends. In short, there is no bad time to come here. Ted's has been a staple for locals for as long as I remember and it never changes. In a town when the hottest trend has less than 15 minutes of fame and then it is gone, Ted's can be counted on to be here, fulfilling the needs of thirsty people at all hours of day or night. One of the best reasons to come is also that the prices are very reasonable and you will not have sobering moments of spending remorse. There aren't many places in SoBe that one can say that about! I wish parking was a little more accommodating, but then again, this is still South Beach and getting here by car, bike, skateboard, rollerblades, motorcycle or flip-flops is a small price to pay to get away from it all, while being in the center of it all...
(4)
Flavia C.

So nice to know a place like this exists in south beach. I love it. Low key place to hang with friends, watch a game, play pool, or listen to the juke box The service is friendly, the prices are good and the crowd is chill. I love the neighborhood, South of Fith, my favorite part of south beach! Def a place to check out and a great break from all the posers. Its near the water and you can come as you are!
(4)
Alaina L.

Teds is a (very) small little dive bar in the SoFi neighborhood of South Beach. No cover. No dress code. Decent priced drinks. Plenty of big screens for watching your favorite (American) sports teams. Pool table. Plenty of cigarette smoke to catch that 2nd hand lung cancer you've been trying to avoid. And bartenders (all female) walking around half naked in bustiers & fishnets (at a dive bar? *shrugs shoulders* ok I guess I'll roll with it). Like most reviews have stated, Ted's is nothing special if you're new to MIA. Just a VERY laid back spot where people (usual locals) either pre-game before venturing off to their intended destination or.....drunkenly end up at the end of their night.
(3)
India B.

Do not go here for food. They gave me some frozen pizza , like hot pocket pizza or something, as an appetizer .. It was not only disgusting but it was cold in the center. Boyfriend got a burger that tasted like meatloaf. Music was good but that's all. The staff was not concerned about serving us and didn't even asked about our meal. Never again.
(1)
Elizabeth R.

I'VE BEEN GOING TO TED'S HIDEAWAY SINCE BEFORE TED WAS BORN. Maybe that's not possible. Maybe I've only been going there since before YOU were born. Yeah, that's more like it. Ted's is a great bar. Friendly folks, good drinks, reasonable prices, pool table, juke box. It's nice. It's cleaner today than it used to be. I remember when they had some couches that could get you pregnant if you sat on them in a miniskirt. And I remember walking into the women's room once and looking at a very educational illustration of a sex act I have never seen anywhere live or in pictures before or since. And while I was studying this edifying artwork, there was somebody sniffing in the stall next to me and two girls smoking in the stall after that. That was a long time ago, mind you. It's a much more wholesome atmosphere these days.
(4)
MICHELLE C.

Ted's is so cool, who knew it was tucked behind The Big Pink. Well not me until we all went there on a pub crawl. I liked the layout of the bar, the bartenders were super friendly, drinks were reasonable and they know how to make some great lemon drop shots. The jukebox was playing some great tunes and my favorite part was the crowd. Although we were there with a huge group of friends the locals who we did not know were so friendly. Chill, laid back place where you can just go have a great time amongst friendly locals and do your own thing. No snobbery here, just cool people all having a great time. Ted's you are a great dive bar that I am looking forward to visiting again. May want to check out some games here.
(4)
Tal T.

Ted's is a classic sobe dive bar. Not as grimey as The Deuce nor as artsy as Lost Weekend, it's got its niche market down pat. Customers at Ted's are drinkers. Nice, happy drinkers. The bar takes up the majority of the space inside the venue, and I like the statement made by that move. The bartenders are friendly, as is the clientele, and it's a decidedly more "american" vibe in here than most sobe spots. You can usually find both locals and tourists here and Ted's is open both during the day and well into the night. The juke box has a great selection, but there's sometimes a nasty wait on weekend nights. Happy Hour is in action even on SUNDAYS and now that it's football season I expect they will come up with some specials for this festive time of year. Bottom Line: Divey fun to be had by all at this locals' favorite friendly bar.
(4)
Jesse S.

Hot bartender in skimpy outfit , can't go wrong there . Also had us vs canada hockey on. Good selection of beers. Love dive bars
(4)
Sabrina L.

Great dive bar, cool vibe..cheap drinks and a jukebox?? yes! count me in! Great times, full bar...walking distance from the beach...I think this is a must stop on those hot summer weekends! Totally chill environment, great crowd.
(4)
Sara M.

True dive bar. A very chill atmosphere where you can sit and have a drink or play pool. By no means glamorous or a place to stop if you are looking for the glitz of South Beach. Do not come here all dressed up, it is a jeans and Tshirt kind of place. A good bar for a relaxing night. Ted's is off the beaten track and like others have said, it is somewhat hard to find, however I have not found parking to be that much of an issue. Since it's far away enough from the sobe hustle and bustle, finding an open meter was never too tough a task. The place itself is rather small and seating is not exactly in abundance, but it adds to the charm of the bar. The bartender who served me was a doll, not sure if thats because she knew the guy I was with, but she was great and came up with a bunch of fun drink suggestions. She ended up concocting a drink which she called a pineapple upside-down cake. Sure.. i'll take it! The clientele was overwhelmingly male, and there was not even a game going on or anything. Perhaps it was because the entire staff was comprised of females, but maybe its because Ted's is just a manly place. Not a place worth driving to South Beach for if you don't live in the area, but if you do live close its definitely a place to frequent for cheap drinks. And if you're coming down to south beach anyhow.. check it out!
(3)
Taylor C.

On vacation, decided to venture here with my girlfriend for the evening, both of us being bartenders we know what to expect and we aren't really picky. Considering we racked up almost a 200 dollar tab we didn't find the bartenders to be friendly at all, even after we closed out and tipped almost 80 dollars no one said thanks or even attempted to look at us again really. Was also quite disturbing watching the guy who I assumed owned the bar groping and molesting his own staff. Drinks are expensive, I didn't really pay attention to what each of our drinks were but someone sat next to me and paid 15 dollars for 2 bud lights and a can of Redbull. I don't think I will ever return here. Unless I feel like people watching again.
(3)
Richard M.

I love teds!! This is the ultimate wind down, pre-game, getting drunk when u shouldn't be, sports bar! Anyone who leaves a bad review about Teds just doesn't enjoy a good dive bar!! This place is amazing, the girls that work there are great and if u think they are rude...u were probably a bad customer!!
(5)
Whitney K.

What? I don't strike you as the type of person who goes to dive bars? Ted's is your perfect weekday watering hole. The bad bitches at the bar will sling your favorite no-frills drinks while you cozy up at the bar to watch my Miami Heat crush another one. The drinks are unimpressive and you can probably leave your heels at home for this one, but if you're looking for a place to shoot the breeze on the Beach with your friends sans the pomp and circumstance -- this is going to be your best bet. Oh, and don't forget to lave your John Hancock on the bathroom wall.
(4)
Andy D.

Ted's hideaway, is that Bohemian Bar, that when you go there your automatically cool! There are the misses, parking sucks, but it is South Beach, and parking sucks everywhere. Ted's is the proverbial 30 year old bar, that never adjusted to the trendier times, or it's just trendy to be seen in this bar now. The staff was great, and service was very good, considering the bar was packed. Ted's brings in a diverse group too, making the people watching experience all the more better.
(4)
Jonah K.

Dive bar, with a good location. The bar staff is great as well. The drinks are reasonable for it's location, but still not dive bar cheap. I have been here several times and usually meet interesting people versus the normal Miami trash :)
(2)
Andrew J.

Classic South Beach dive bar. I haven't been there in a while. Pros: cheap drinks, good music, cool crowd and all female bar staff. Cons: Bottled beer only, foul cigarette smoke which kills it for me.
(2)
Shawn P.

The best dive bar on South Beach for a combination, a great drinks, good prices and great service. The bartenders are super friendly and have no problem taking a drink back and making it the way that you like it but they pour pretty hard so be careful. Also they pretty hot, not in the over top South Beach $15 a drink club bar way , but in that Maxim's Girl Next Door hot, which is better and the bartender with the long black hair and nerdy Clark Kent's glasses .... ( oh never mind ) Um yes ... where was I ? yes they have a juke box , pool table and crappy food that ease a lot better after a few drinks especially the sliders. Great place to start the night or end it but don't make it a middle stop. Oh one more thing, since I am a regular there and my mom told me I was good looking, there is some good looking men there Flo !! " Tip-bits: No need to dress up, no hotties in this place"
(5)
Joseluis A.

sketchy hidden bar south of fifth. it is possible that the apocalypse will start at teds. what i love about teds is that its almost always douche-free. the pours are mean and the barternders are fast and sweet. teds is not the place to go on a first date unless shes awesome and she suggests it. in which case, you better be ready to step it up bro cause she aint fucking around.
(4)
Michelle W.

Oh how I like you Ted :) I love this little place. The servers & bartenders are friendly, the people are nice, interesting and of varied phases of life.... always makes for a good time at a bar. The beer is cheap, there are TVs, a pool table & bathrooms with toilet paper. Great place to rub elbows with locals and have a nice relaxed evening! The bartender even replaced my half drank beer for free when it was spilled in a hockey scuffle. What's not to love?? by the way... this is a smoke 'em if you got 'em place...all you smoke sensitive types may not approve....
(4)
Will S.

Anyone that doesn't like Ted's is either a goddamn commie, or a typical miami douche. The patron's of Ted's don't take kindly to reds or feminine products. Just a fair warning the best days to drink at Ted's are just the ones that end in "Y" PS If you don't like stiff drinks and Johnny Cash, don't let the door hit you in the ass!
(5)
Rick C.

Rude and unfriendly manager at night. She was more interested in giving another woman a back rub at the bar than to help make drinks when it was very busy. She turned off a song I paid for in the juke box because one of her regulars whom was obnoxiously drunk said she hated that song and to change it. The drinks are shitty too. Don't waste your time or money there.
(1)
Devin V.

This place seems so out of place in the glitzy South Beach scene, but that's part of it's charm. The bartenders are all friendly, hot babes, there's plenty of seating at the bar, and they even have a pool table. Worth a stop if you're in the area!
(4)
Eve C.

I'm a big Ted's Hideaway fan. It's a great dive bar that you can find yourself in on any night of the week, and no matter what you have going on in your life, you'll manage to have a great time! The jukebox offers a pretty good selection, there are plenty of tvs to catch that game that you've just got to see, and the drinks are very reasonably priced (as far as South Beach goes)! What's not to love? Oh, did I mention it's located right next door to Big Pink? And they even have a limited bar food menu, in case you need something to eat right NOW. Ted's is great for tourists who don't want to do the whole club scene, but still want to have a great time. And Ted's is even better for locals who are sick of paying South Beach prices for miniscule drinks.
(4)
Martin S.

Hot friendly bartenders and normal local-types. Good for a drink during the day and a game of pool.
(5)
Chris M.

Came here with 3 fellow students/conference attendees on a Thursday night. We were all a bit overdressed, but made to feel at home immediately. Bartenders are easy on the eyes. No attitude, no bull, just cold beer and generous liquor pours, in a true sports bar atmosphere.
(3)
Teresa K.

This place is all about the people. The staff are always friendly and smiling no matter how hectic, crowded and obnoxiously drunk the customers get. The crowd on the drinking side of the bar is always an amusing, eclectic decently friendly crowd. The drinks are not exactly dive bar cheap despite the dive bar atmosphere but better than what you might find elsewhere in South Beach.
(3)
Lisa C.

Awful! The food is stuff I can get on the frozen food aisle at my supermarket. Absolutely gross. This is a total old man's bar. Local dive. Nothing classy about it. The only people who should be in here are the people who live within the surrounding 3 blocks. Zero vibe. I cam here to watch the last of the 3rd and 4th quarters of the miserable Jets/Steelers playoff game. The Clevelander was it's usual ghetto self so I pretty much let the dude I was with suggest where to go. Let me say this dude lives in SouthBEach but should may as well live in Appalachia cause the sophistication level just isn't where it should be for SouthBeach. The guy knows of NOTHING, claims he's a simple guy. Yes and this simple man is in his simple man's bar Ted's Hideaway hiding away from all the great Miami has to offer...ALONE!! But..Ted's gets a star cause they did have rolling rock on tap. Yum!
(1)
Mercy R.

Not to crazy about the heavy cigarette smell.
(3)
Marcos R.

Classic South Beach dive bar institution. It's really more of a sports bar than a dive, but Ted's can be both at the same time. People here are not afraid to hoot and hollar while watching some football. It often gets pretty loud. The beers and drinks are pretty cheap and they've got 2 happy hours going on and as a result, Ted's tends to churn out a bit of an unruly sausage fest pretty much ALL THE TIME. It's right around the corner from Big Pinks dinner, if you know where that is.
(3)
Ericstevenc T.

Great dive bar south of fifth
(5)
Gabi B.

love this place , I've been a handful of times and always had fun :) its definitely a dive bar and has the atmosphere of one. It reminds me of places back home (west coast of fl) its the type of place I prefer to Miami clubs and lounges. The drinks aren't fancy but if you have something in mind they'll give it a shot for a laugh , the bartenders are friendly and talk easily with you which makes it a good experience. For the most part the crowd is good too, the pool table can get a bit feisty with the line system but usually it's all in good fun. I'll be back I'm sure :)
(5)
Pierre K.

I've been going to Ted's for years and it is one of my favorite places on the beach. It is a very casual unpretentious hangout with cheap drinks and it is right next to Big Pink which means you can get a good buzz and soak it up with some good food. Oh and did I forget to say that the bartenders are HOT!! One thing... just avoid the bathrooms if you can, they are disgusting but then again, the bar is kind of divish. I highly recommend it!
(4)
Liz R.

Maybe it was the fact that we had to walk for 30 blocks but I couldn't have been happier to see that purple neon sign glistening in the distance. This was the last third and last stop of our dive pub crawl. I had never been to Ted's Hideaway and I was pleasantly surprised when i stepped into this dive bar. The staff, all female bartenders, were very nice, the drinks were cheap and the people were really cool and low-key, compared to your regular Beach crowd. Regular bar with flat screens playing football and sticky wooden floor. It's definitely a fine place to hang out with your friends and have a couple of drinks to start or end your night.
(3)
Mike K.

The best dive bar for locals on South Beach. The bartenders, beyond being beautiful, are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet, and are usually happy to hang out and get to know their patrons. Drinks are well-priced, and the crowd is pretty much all locals so it's definitely a pleasant vibe. I just moved off the beach, and Ted's is one of the places I will absolutely miss the most.
(5)
Paul W.

If I lived in this area, Ted's would be one of my regular haunts. Cheap beers ($12 pitchers or $4 bottles on a Friday night in SOBE??!?) and a varied clientele from frat boys there to shoot some pool and watch the game to couples and older guys just there to suck down some suds and chat with whoever happens to sit near them. There are 2 large LCD screens over the middle of the bar and 4 more smaller screens around the inside perimeter of the bar area. On the night I was here to catch the Stanley Cup Finals, they had that game on 2 of the screens, and a few baseball games on the others. My only comment is that if you are coming here to watch sports, don't necessarily expect to be able to hear the commentary. On this night, though it was the final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs, they kept the jukebox playing rather than the audio from the game. Not a biggie since this game was being carried by NBC and their series coverage generally sucked, but when there were injuries and some other things occurred during the game, it would've been nice to hear what was going on. Some have called this a "dive bar". I wouldn't exactly agree with that, I'd just say that it's a no-frills locals bar with a pool table, jukebox, decent beer selection, cheap drinks and a limited food menu with reasonable prices. To me it didn't seem like your typical dark and "down and dirty" dive bar. As others have mentioned, if you're bothered by cigarette smoke this may not be the place for you when it's packed. Ted's is located in the same building as Big Pink if you're familiar with that area.
(4)
Justin F.

Really hard to find a place to park..... They rock an all female staff which was awesome and its an great bar to watch a Heat game !
(3)
G B.

My favorite part of Miami Beach. Standard bar food, great drink prices, cool mix of people.
(4)
Christopher K.

This place is good and almost great. The bartenders are hot, fast and friendly. The decor is on the mark. Lots of old wood, well aged. Lighting is also dead on, dark, den-like and moody, yet not so dark you can't see who you are talking to. The sound & acoustics are also dead on; the sound is full bodied but not so overwhelming that you can't talk to people. The one bad thing, the one thing that is keeping them from being great, is they have this bad habit of shaking their shots (aparently a Miami thing) & when they do, they bruise them - a lot. If they can nip that one habit in the butt, they will be great (and earn their fifth star).
(4)
Ivan M.

Great little dive bar on the beach, filled with locals, classic rock always fills the room, and the staff is very friendly. Not very clean, smells like beers been spilled on the floor many times over the years. But it's charming specifically because it's so different then everything around it on SoBe.
(3)
Greg B.

Super duper Dive and I'm all about it. Teds is a place where you go to grab a drink after work or after a good night of drinking and BS with SOBEs finest aka me. They have a solid selection of beers on tap and a few TVs to keep you entertained. Thursday night is ladies night so be prepared to bring your D game to get er done. If your brave, you can order food but I would rather just say my goodbyes and mosey on down to Pinks right next door instead.
(3)
Florence Y.

If you are going to be a dive bar in Miami beach, at least have good drinks to make up for sticky floors and stinky bathrooms! Like Emily V said, 3rd stop on the pub crawl..you would think the bartender-ress/waitress would have given us some kind of special for the 13 of us..nope. Rolling rock or blue moon...we did a round of tequila shots there, I suppose that added to the fun factor. TVs for the football game and a pool table in the back. Tip-bits: No need to dress up, no hotties in this place Disclaimer: I still think that mr conc. camp guy is hot, I just have to feed him. :)
(3)
Ro R.

This is Not a Gay bar, yelp has this bar listed under the Wrong Category, when searching for gay bars in Miami, this bar keeps coming up in the list.... This is a crappy sports bar w/ servers that have fake boobs and too much collagen injected into their bodies! Cigarette smoke fills the air with all the straight Dude Bros watching sports on the 20 TVs. If $9 for vodka and $6 for draft beer is cheap, I'll drink at my condo alone!
(1)
Kathy G.

Stop number 5 on pub crawl... Sorry I don't remember much. I know I had fun as I always do at Ted's. I remember singing my heart out along with the jukebox. I know I am always in the way of a pool game. It is one of favorite bars on the beach. I always end up making friends with a new bar buddy and hearing interesting stories. It's even better now that Prive and Opium closed so you don't get a bunch of posers here after they finish partying across the street.
(4)
Arturo M.

One of the few dive bars on the beach. I'd been to Ted's once before, but had *forgotten* I'd gone (yeah, that's how drunk we got). So the other day I'm at Club Deuce for my favorite intern's going away shindig, and once happy hour ends at the Deuce (re: 7pm) I asked the bartender where we should go. Ted's Hideaway. Which I had to be told by friends I'd been to before and loved. Hmmm. So we went, and although I thought I'd been there for the first time (when in fact it was my second) I did in fact love it. The drinks are some of the cheapest you'll find on the beach (although not cheap compared to some ghetto places on the mainland) there's a pool table, sports on the tv, etc. etc., everything you expect from a dive. Also, not to judge, but I think if you go in there later at night you can find some "ladies of the night" along with their "bodyguards." I'm just sayin. . . .
(4)
erika s.

this is right next to big pink. while it wasn't my favorite dive bar--really for atmosphere more than anything else, it wasn't my favorite due to my own taste. it was a little too sportsy for me. what i did think was really good here was the staff--A+ ladies. super nice and super good bartenders. i haven't had a beer that was this cold in forever either. the music was pretty good and the other customers were nice too.
(3)
Dinks D.

I loved this place! We were lucky enough to get the suggestion from a bar tender at a place up the street, we were there on vacation but arent really into the whole club scene so this place was perfect for us! The bartenders were great and brought lots of fun energy to the place by dancing around and just being silly! Great music and good drinks, what more could you want?
(4)
Felecia W.

Update! Im upping the star level. Teds has won my heart and by heart I mean credit card. Ashely and I find ourselves here usually on a Tuesday (gulp...) night. The bartenders are fun and bouncy and know what we drink. We always meet some fun people there, but in all honesty, whos not fun at 4am?! The Juke box is our best friend, and no one even blinks when we belt out all the lyrics to "Whats up" by the 4 Non Blonds. I heart Teds. It IS smokey as a MoFo, but by late night, whos really checking? Oh. and the food is decent. I didnt know there was food until last week. Its all like 7.00 which that alone is reason to eat! The Nachos are huuuuge! Get them, it will help you drink longer. older version: We strolled in around 2am and it was packed with a lot of people out for a good time. Everyone was in their late 20's early 30's and having a grand ol' time. This place is kind of divey, but by that, I mean that its not your typical Miami bar. My only complaint is the cigarette smoke. It was SO over powering that it was putting a damper on my fun level. Either way though, I love this place and will totally be back in the future!
(5)
Emily V.

Ted's...not impressive... This was our third stop on the Pub Crawl last night. Beer selection: sucked. Crowd: hmmm...Service: ok. Bathrooms: Disgusting! We did manage to snag couches and tables at this place. It's a pretty big place with pool tables and TVs playing the football games. They only had really crappy "beer": Millet Lite, Bud, Bud Light...you get the picture. But the waitress was ok. The bathroom stalls...you could contract a disease just by looking at them! Don't know if I'll be returning to this place...
(3)
Ethan T.

Far to long since my last visit. This dive bar is small, dark, and a place to be left alone. A pool table and a couple TV's create the basic entertainment, and the location makes it a good stop off after a hot beach day. I know I will be stopping in more often.
(2)
michelle z.

By far the rudest bartenders I have ever seen! I tried to give this place another try but again I was treated like dirt. The bartender today was loud rude and overwhelming. I will never go back here and will make it my mission in life to let the world know how horrible the service is!
(1)
Parisa S.

I'm not the dive-bar type, but if I were, Ted's would probably be the dive bar for me. Good music, a pool table, strong drinks, and on the night I was there, an Elvis impersonator. What's not to love? Plus, sometimes you need a break from the SoBe scene, ya know?
(3)
BRYAN B.

THE dive bar of dive bars, I like it. Itt's close to Big Pink (Thanksgiving on a roll-the hangover cure before bed), and the bartenders never disappoint. This is not South Beach, this is the local hospitality crew after-shift place, but entertaining and fun.
(3)
Sabrina Anna C.

This place is a real Dive Bar right in South Beach! Right next to Big Pink, Ted's Hideaway is a great place to either start or end your night. And sometimes it IS your night! The drinks aren't too expensive here and it has a good little vibe going. It's got more of a homey feel than anything else in the Beach. There's a pool table and some darts, as well as tvs to watch all your favorite games! Not known by many, and far away from the strip, this place is a good place to get away and have some drinks. They serve food, but I've never tried it... I usually stick to liquid diets, unless I'm too drunk, then we need something with bread to soak it up! ;-) It's always a good time during a game, as the entire place gets into it with the hootin and hollerin! Yes, I did say that. And you can always play your own games while you're there.
(4)
Shamus O.

Its not one of those crappy SB bars but a regular place with regular people. Well, regular for Miami Beach. Stick to bottles or the high prove stuff and you'll be fine.
(4)
C A.

Great dive bar, but it may not be for you. Like the drunk guy that I talked to in front of the bar said, "It's the cheapest beer you'll find in SoBe." This place really is a gem for someone like me. It's small, affordable, has TVs along all 4 sides of the bar area to watch games, has bar food, has certain game day specials(ie $9 pitcher & free hot dog), and the most noticeable difference from other dive bars is that there are hot girls as bartenders/servers(All 3 were distracting me from watching the game). The group I was with had issues with other people smoking and had to leave, so don't come here if you know you can't handle some smoke. Also, they could probably change their layout to make it more friendly to more groups, but that open room probably comes in handy during the pub crawl and other big events.
(4)
Justin M.

Ted's Hideaway is no doubt the greatest place to drink in South Beach. If you are looking for a great dive bar, with cheap bar food and a fun and friendly staff, look no further. They stay open late so skip the hustle of the main strip and come as you are.
(4)
Danny S.

I love this place! Now that I live closer to that 'hood, it's a great neighborhood bar. Very much like a bar you would find in Chicago. It's safer and more upscale than Club Deuce, and the bartenders are hotties! The y just had a Christmas party that was catered with free food and drink specials. It's a good place to meet locals, and some "out of towners". No pretension here, if that's your thing, go to a hotel bar...
(4)
Leigha T.

Pretty straightforward...divy bar...nasty bathrooms...cheap drinks...great jukebox. For those that order food, REALLY?!? That's kind of your own fault. Only issue I would say is to double check your credit card statements, we got double charged last time and while they did eventually correct it, it did take a bit.
(4)
John Strand ..

Worst sports bar experience I've ever had. Completely rude & unfriendly staff, and I paid cash + tip up front for a drink, but was still asked to leave the bar before the 3rd quarter of the game was even over, because I chose not to order another drink. The place was far from full. Are you kidding me??
(1)
Osvaldo P.

A dive is a dive is a dive! I don't care how big...I don't care how small...I'll take any dive and ju can work it baby! It'll grow, ebentually men! The best part about this dive bar besides the bill at the end is that people refer to it as 'teddy's hideaway!' and not Ted's hideaway. This is amusing to me because I couldn't find the place last night as I walked up and down collins ave until I finally asked a non english speaking person walking out of a bodega if he knew of a bar called teddy's hideaway. He wasn't sure what I was asking him, so I asked him in spanish, at which point he proceeded to get back up. Yup, the bodega attendant came out to translate for him. So again, in spanish, I ask him if he knows of a bar called teddy's hideaway, and after pondering it for a minute he shakes his head and says..."no....no...no..." He knows there's a bar if you walk into the street off corner of the big pink diner, but it's called Ted's. Who would have ever guessed that Ted and Teddy are 2 completely different names to a native spanish speaker. Even when the mission is to kill a few brain cells, you end up learning a lesson or 2. Thanks Miami!!
(4)
Barney B.

'hideaway' is the key. hell, this place was literally half a block from our hotel and we only found it on one of our last nights.....and Barney B knows how to sniff out places like this usually. interesting assortment of drunk bitches all watching UM lose in the post-season - but it didn't feel like this crowd was much different than any other night. beer selection, adequate - service, surly but efficient. ashtray quotient, high (which is not a bonus in my book, but might be in yours). and MOST IMPORTANTLY, douchenoozle quotient, relatively low - and that's hard to do this close to Ocean Dr and the Wet Willies of the world. chances are, I won't be staying half a block away on my next visit. chances are, I will be hoofing it to this place at least one night during that visit no matter where my bed might be.
(4)
Mark B.

Ted's Hideaway great dive bar hot friendly bar tenders. Good selection of drinks at fair prices. Decent juke box. Open until 5:00AM. Made an out of towner feel comfortable.
(4)
Lisa K.

I stopped at Ted's on a recent trip to Miami for a quick break from the Chicago weather. I was definitely looking for something close but not a cookie cutter of all the other places on the strip. Ted's is breath of fresh air for me. I went on a weekday during what would be considered happy hour. It was so awesome to just sit back and be able to have a couple drinks without all the hassle of being a single lady at a bar on Ocean drive. The locals were happily chatting with each other and not one person bothered me. It was awesome! The drinks are very reasonable, under $5. They a decent selection. I would love to come here a little later in the evening when the patronage gets more colorful!
(4)
Froi P.

Who would've thought there'd be a dive bar in SoBe? Ted's is a great change of pace from the fancy decor of Miami. This place has enough TVs to watch several games. The drinks are cheap and more importantly has the nice dive bar feel. Locals seem to rule this roost which is nice. Good burgers which need french fries. Lose the potato chips.
(3)
Lizette N.

Best Dive Bar on South Beach as far as I am concerned! After a long day of sunning yourself and people watching on the beach, you can stroll down the block and get your drink on! It's always full of colorful characters. Wanna be surfers, local girls that love the wanna be surfers, actual bums with no teeth and lots of regular people that are having a great time. Grab a drink, put some money in the jukebox and get ready for a long day=nite. It's always a great time! Great drink prices, a pool table, Tv's for watching sports. A great place to go if you want a laid back, neighborhood SoBe experience.
(4)
Johnny B.

I love Ted's Hideaway! It you want a great dive bar, this is the place for you! I walked in here after walking past all the trendy expensive bars down the street and it was a god send on a hot humid afternoon! I was saved when I got here! I will def visit Ted's again when I come back to MIA!
(5)
Franky A.

This is an excellent dive bar that is always going on at all times. I haven't had a bad time when I'm there. It's in a good location and always has cute girls ready to party.
(5)
frank m.

best dive bar in Miami. cheap d rinks great location next to big pink. Bartenders are all chicks (hot) Hooters meets sobe.
(5)
Rachel B.

this is a good place in sobe to escape sobe. a decent dive bar with cheap booze and fast, friendly service. the beer selection is kinda weak, but you can make up for it with quantity over quality here.
(3)
Taj K.

This is definitely my favorite place to watch football and is predominately made up of locals. The majority of bartenders are female with the exception of "uncle ted." Their burgers are my favorite and the drinks are fairly price for Sobe. This is definitely not your typical over the top Sobe bar. Great place to hangout with friends.
(4)
Melissa S.

Almost 2 years later and I'm still loving Ted's! I think I've attained official regular status.
(5)
Andy L.

Always a nights full of crazy things to witness on the weekends. Food is cheap and nasty, but it's the type of cheap nasty food that makes dive bars great. I had not had a hot dog in years, but that was the best damn hot dog I've had in a while. The setting works and it's always a good time here plus the drink prices are not why you are forced to pay elsewhere on south beach. If you want a place to let loose, be a fool, and not have to worry about dudes Walking around with sunglasses at night and their shirts unbuttoned down to their belly buttons...Ted's is a great start.
(4)
Andrew P.

the south beach dive standard sports bar
(4)
Juhani P.

Is this a gay bar? Where are all the chicks??!
(1)
Melind H.

I love this place...a real dive bar on South Beath!?! Definitely great for locals, and basically great if you don't want to be surrounded by tourists. Too bad the prices don't reflect a true dive bar, but I guess it beats pretty much every other alcohol serving establishment on the beach.
(4)
Anita G.

Omg one of those places we love to hate. Can't believe they are still open! Only my stoner and broke friends go there! Great place to drink and rub shoulders with the homeless ppl who stink up the city...enjoy ;)
(1)
Leigha T.

Pretty straightforward...divy bar...nasty bathrooms...cheap drinks...great jukebox. For those that order food, REALLY?!? That's kind of your own fault. Only issue I would say is to double check your credit card statements, we got double charged last time and while they did eventually correct it, it did take a bit.
(4)
John Strand ..

Worst sports bar experience I've ever had. Completely rude & unfriendly staff, and I paid cash + tip up front for a drink, but was still asked to leave the bar before the 3rd quarter of the game was even over, because I chose not to order another drink. The place was far from full. Are you kidding me??
(1)
erika s.

this is right next to big pink. while it wasn't my favorite dive bar--really for atmosphere more than anything else, it wasn't my favorite due to my own taste. it was a little too sportsy for me. what i did think was really good here was the staff--A+ ladies. super nice and super good bartenders. i haven't had a beer that was this cold in forever either. the music was pretty good and the other customers were nice too.
(3)
Dinks D.

I loved this place! We were lucky enough to get the suggestion from a bar tender at a place up the street, we were there on vacation but arent really into the whole club scene so this place was perfect for us! The bartenders were great and brought lots of fun energy to the place by dancing around and just being silly! Great music and good drinks, what more could you want?
(4)
Osvaldo P.

A dive is a dive is a dive! I don't care how big...I don't care how small...I'll take any dive and ju can work it baby! It'll grow, ebentually men! The best part about this dive bar besides the bill at the end is that people refer to it as 'teddy's hideaway!' and not Ted's hideaway. This is amusing to me because I couldn't find the place last night as I walked up and down collins ave until I finally asked a non english speaking person walking out of a bodega if he knew of a bar called teddy's hideaway. He wasn't sure what I was asking him, so I asked him in spanish, at which point he proceeded to get back up. Yup, the bodega attendant came out to translate for him. So again, in spanish, I ask him if he knows of a bar called teddy's hideaway, and after pondering it for a minute he shakes his head and says..."no....no...no..." He knows there's a bar if you walk into the street off corner of the big pink diner, but it's called Ted's. Who would have ever guessed that Ted and Teddy are 2 completely different names to a native spanish speaker. Even when the mission is to kill a few brain cells, you end up learning a lesson or 2. Thanks Miami!!
(4)
Franky A.

This is an excellent dive bar that is always going on at all times. I haven't had a bad time when I'm there. It's in a good location and always has cute girls ready to party.
(5)
frank m.

best dive bar in Miami. cheap d rinks great location next to big pink. Bartenders are all chicks (hot) Hooters meets sobe.
(5)
Barney B.

'hideaway' is the key. hell, this place was literally half a block from our hotel and we only found it on one of our last nights.....and Barney B knows how to sniff out places like this usually. interesting assortment of drunk bitches all watching UM lose in the post-season - but it didn't feel like this crowd was much different than any other night. beer selection, adequate - service, surly but efficient. ashtray quotient, high (which is not a bonus in my book, but might be in yours). and MOST IMPORTANTLY, douchenoozle quotient, relatively low - and that's hard to do this close to Ocean Dr and the Wet Willies of the world. chances are, I won't be staying half a block away on my next visit. chances are, I will be hoofing it to this place at least one night during that visit no matter where my bed might be.
(4)
Mark B.

Ted's Hideaway great dive bar hot friendly bar tenders. Good selection of drinks at fair prices. Decent juke box. Open until 5:00AM. Made an out of towner feel comfortable.
(4)
Lisa K.

I stopped at Ted's on a recent trip to Miami for a quick break from the Chicago weather. I was definitely looking for something close but not a cookie cutter of all the other places on the strip. Ted's is breath of fresh air for me. I went on a weekday during what would be considered happy hour. It was so awesome to just sit back and be able to have a couple drinks without all the hassle of being a single lady at a bar on Ocean drive. The locals were happily chatting with each other and not one person bothered me. It was awesome! The drinks are very reasonable, under $5. They a decent selection. I would love to come here a little later in the evening when the patronage gets more colorful!
(4)
Froi P.

Who would've thought there'd be a dive bar in SoBe? Ted's is a great change of pace from the fancy decor of Miami. This place has enough TVs to watch several games. The drinks are cheap and more importantly has the nice dive bar feel. Locals seem to rule this roost which is nice. Good burgers which need french fries. Lose the potato chips.
(3)
BRYAN B.

THE dive bar of dive bars, I like it. Itt's close to Big Pink (Thanksgiving on a roll-the hangover cure before bed), and the bartenders never disappoint. This is not South Beach, this is the local hospitality crew after-shift place, but entertaining and fun.
(3)
Lizette N.

Best Dive Bar on South Beach as far as I am concerned! After a long day of sunning yourself and people watching on the beach, you can stroll down the block and get your drink on! It's always full of colorful characters. Wanna be surfers, local girls that love the wanna be surfers, actual bums with no teeth and lots of regular people that are having a great time. Grab a drink, put some money in the jukebox and get ready for a long day=nite. It's always a great time! Great drink prices, a pool table, Tv's for watching sports. A great place to go if you want a laid back, neighborhood SoBe experience.
(4)
Johnny B.

I love Ted's Hideaway! It you want a great dive bar, this is the place for you! I walked in here after walking past all the trendy expensive bars down the street and it was a god send on a hot humid afternoon! I was saved when I got here! I will def visit Ted's again when I come back to MIA!
(5)
Rachel B.

this is a good place in sobe to escape sobe. a decent dive bar with cheap booze and fast, friendly service. the beer selection is kinda weak, but you can make up for it with quantity over quality here.
(3)
Taj K.

This is definitely my favorite place to watch football and is predominately made up of locals. The majority of bartenders are female with the exception of "uncle ted." Their burgers are my favorite and the drinks are fairly price for Sobe. This is definitely not your typical over the top Sobe bar. Great place to hangout with friends.
(4)
Melissa S.

Almost 2 years later and I'm still loving Ted's! I think I've attained official regular status.
(5)
Andy L.

Always a nights full of crazy things to witness on the weekends. Food is cheap and nasty, but it's the type of cheap nasty food that makes dive bars great. I had not had a hot dog in years, but that was the best damn hot dog I've had in a while. The setting works and it's always a good time here plus the drink prices are not why you are forced to pay elsewhere on south beach. If you want a place to let loose, be a fool, and not have to worry about dudes Walking around with sunglasses at night and their shirts unbuttoned down to their belly buttons...Ted's is a great start.
(4)
Andrew P.

the south beach dive standard sports bar
(4)
Juhani P.

Is this a gay bar? Where are all the chicks??!
(1)
Melind H.

I love this place...a real dive bar on South Beath!?! Definitely great for locals, and basically great if you don't want to be surrounded by tourists. Too bad the prices don't reflect a true dive bar, but I guess it beats pretty much every other alcohol serving establishment on the beach.
(4)
Shamus O.

Its not one of those crappy SB bars but a regular place with regular people. Well, regular for Miami Beach. Stick to bottles or the high prove stuff and you'll be fine.
(4)
C A.

Great dive bar, but it may not be for you. Like the drunk guy that I talked to in front of the bar said, "It's the cheapest beer you'll find in SoBe." This place really is a gem for someone like me. It's small, affordable, has TVs along all 4 sides of the bar area to watch games, has bar food, has certain game day specials(ie $9 pitcher & free hot dog), and the most noticeable difference from other dive bars is that there are hot girls as bartenders/servers(All 3 were distracting me from watching the game). The group I was with had issues with other people smoking and had to leave, so don't come here if you know you can't handle some smoke. Also, they could probably change their layout to make it more friendly to more groups, but that open room probably comes in handy during the pub crawl and other big events.
(4)
Justin M.

Ted's Hideaway is no doubt the greatest place to drink in South Beach. If you are looking for a great dive bar, with cheap bar food and a fun and friendly staff, look no further. They stay open late so skip the hustle of the main strip and come as you are.
(4)
Danny S.

I love this place! Now that I live closer to that 'hood, it's a great neighborhood bar. Very much like a bar you would find in Chicago. It's safer and more upscale than Club Deuce, and the bartenders are hotties! The y just had a Christmas party that was catered with free food and drink specials. It's a good place to meet locals, and some "out of towners". No pretension here, if that's your thing, go to a hotel bar...
(4)
Brandon W.

Awesome dive bar and staple at the beach. Staff is great and the drinks are cheap, especially during HH. If you love dive bars, this is a must stop for a few.
(4)
Heidi P.

This place is NOT a tourist place, which was great. The drinks are generous but the food is your average bar food. I had the taquitos which were pretty good but then came back for the chili cheese fries and was not great but edible. The bartenders I've had are super nice. I liked this place because it reminded me of other dive bars in Seattle but for the most part not exceptionally impressed so three stars it is.
(3)
Max T.

Finally found a respectable dive in Miami. Ted's Hideaway felt like a Chicago dive to me from the moment I crossed the threshold. It was full of locals, some beautiful and some semi-beautiful servers, a huge selection of beers, a late night kitchen, and a cigarette vending machine with the old pull knobs. Nostalgia. I happen to prefer dive bars without always having to prefer dive bar beers like PBR. One of the largest selections of beer I came across was here and all on ice. I drank my Chicago local Lagunitas and this is the only place I found that had it during my stay. The servers were all on point. They frequently checked back and were nice. There were many of them rotating stations but it wasn't a nuisance. I must have clocked in almost a full time work shift at this bar and at 3 or 4am the kitchen was still open. People talk about the burgers but I came across some real good sweet chili wings and mozzarella sticks. The aesthetics of the bar are like you would expect. Looks like it should be remodeled but wouldn't dare at the same time as it should be. Large bar in the center, pool table on one side, and more seating on the other. If I ever had to move to Miami, and I wish that on no one, then I would spend time at work and then at Ted's. Also if you're catching a Lyft or Uber try to communicate that you are here because they will circle the nightclub half a block up. In a perfect world it'd be vice versa.
(5)
Dinesh A.

Not to bad. I would want to give it a 3.5 but I rounded up cause they had good employees and music. Had a nice lagunitas IPA with my burger. The chips and fries were pretty good too. I came here cause it was the only place open past midnight on a Monday night. And turned out to be great.
(4)
Kelly G.

I am a fan although something about this place erks me but not in a bad way. It is dark, divey, weird, and fun at the same time. This place is a staple on South Beach. Located in the neiborhood of SOFI (south of fifth), it is the only real dive bar left in the area. I LOVE THAT THEY HAVE KALIK, my favorite beer. Jukebox plays all the jams, all the time. Food is EH, but who goes to a dive bar for food? The service is always spot on and beautiful I may add. Keep up the good work Ted's!
(4)
Lucas V.

What can I say, that's my kind of place. Came alone watch the NFL kickoff game, and the bartender girls made me feel at home and happy (and they are really nice to look, witch is a big plus). Awesome beer - that's cold and cheap, if you don't know - awesome service, awesome atmosphere. It is indeed a nice place to go!
(5)
Alick W.

Ted's Hideaway is a pretty good dive bar in South Beach. Customer service is great here. We were greeted immediately upon entering and asked if we wanted a drink. What makes Ted's a good bar is that they have servers that work the floor and wait at the bar to get drinks for you. All the servers were friendly always checked to see if we needed anything. This bar has a pool table and big screen tvs. Beers were priced reasonably: $5 for a bud light, $6 for a Blue Moon. The bar is square and in the center so even though it's a little bit of a tight space in there, you never really feel cramped. Bar is open til 5:00 in the morning. The only drawback of this bar is that people smoke in there and it can be hard to get away from. Overall a Ted's is a good chill time in South Beach.
(5)
Desiree G.

Whether famous or infamous, Ted's is the perfect dive bar: dim lights, cheap drinks, hot and hospitable barmaids, and an 8-hour happy hour. What more do you need? Located in the quiet(er) South of Fifth neighborhood of South Beach, Ted's is at the very tip of Miami Beach, only about three blocks to the public beach and Ocean Drive. It's in the same building as the Big Pink, right across the street from Story (a nightclub). The bartenders are quick to greet customers warmly and are attentive and accommodating throughout your stay, not to mention very easy on the eyes. The 12-8 happy hour brings many people who live and/or work in the area here several times a week, allowing for a tightly-knit community of regulars. One of the few venues tuned into the sports scene, Ted's offers specials for most college and professional football games. Great spot to meet local and visiting football fans alike! Note: Like many venues in Miami, smoking is allowed inside, so don't expect people not to take that liberty.
(5)
Steven W.

Its like going back in time for dive bars. People are smoking at the bar right next to me, I guess you can smoke anywhere in this place. I havent seen that in years. In any event, the girls working the bar were very nice, attentive, and cute and I liked the place. I went here alone as I am from out of town but it was still fun to talk to the locals and have a few bud lights. Dont come for the atmosphere or decor unless you like second hand smoke I did not order any food but would not be adverse to it. I would come back to this place with friends.
(3)
Di W.

So glad to have made acquaintance with this fab little dive bar. We wandered down from the Hilton Bentley in search of good beer and a good place to watch football. The divey bar is warm and welcoming- quite unassuming but very comfortable. Our bartender, Sasha, was super nice and attentive. Beer prices were quite reasonable. The beer selection was dismal; craft beer trend has definitely not found this area. Great way to spend an afternoon away from the neon hype of south beach.
(3)
Gabriel T.

Nice bar!! I caution you this is a real bar with bar food. Don't come in here ordering a " Cosmo" or expect to over pay for beer. Wings were good to.
(4)
Steven S.

Awesome dive bar near the action in south beach. Great bartenders and even met the owner....not named Ted! Great place to watch your favorite team.
(5)
Jose A.

This place is a blast.. Had many goo times here . Not the type a place to take. Your mom though .
(5)
Tony S.

Definitely a dive bar, which I'm personally into, but this spot leaves a lot to be desired for someone into dive bars. Not much in the way of atmosphere. The lighting and decor are terrible. Basically just a spot to grab a drink and inhale cigarette smoke (Suuuuper smoky). The only reasons Teds doesn't get two stars from me are friendly staff and the nachos I got here were actually quite good.
(3)
Sarah X.

Dive bar for sure. Lots of smoke. No ventilation Lots of tvs. Kinda loud. The wine was really bad. Service was good. I'm not into dive bars, But even if I was I don't think I would like this one.
(2)
Anita G.

Omg one of those places we love to hate. Can't believe they are still open! Only my stoner and broke friends go there! Great place to drink and rub shoulders with the homeless ppl who stink up the city...enjoy ;)
(1)
Monica S.

If there's something about the Deuce that skeeves you out, you might improve your luck over at Ted's, the South of Fifth divey neighbor with a -touch- more class. On any given night you're bound to find locals from all walks of life drinking away. In fact, the crowd's so darn eclectic, you may find a retired millionaire sitting to your right and a starving artist over to your left. If pool's your game, you'll notice a table at the ready and where music's concerned, the high tech jukebox offers equal opportunity to play your favorites. Drinks are cold, credit cards are accepted (smoking is unfortunately too), and characters are welcome.
(4)
Court S.

Great little dive bar with great people. Stop in for real conversations and take a break from the stuffy South Beach pretentious a-hole's!!! ANTONIA THE BARTENDER IS AMAZING!!!!!!
(5)
Anish E.

Gotta be honest, I was pretty buzzed when I stepped in and the mile long walk to the place had made me pretty thirsty. Lucky for me the drinks aren't expensive and the beer isn't bad. They've got a pool table so if you like pool, there's that. But what I really liked was that the place was chill, the music was actually good which is pretty rare on south beach and I love how the staff try to wear as little clothes as possible which is fucking great because they're all pretty hot. You should definitely check it out if you aren't doing anything on a tuesday. Why tuesday? You figure it out.
(4)
Maria K.

Teds is laid back fun neighborhood bar. The drinks are cheap and if your in the industry it's buy one get one free! The bartenders are fast and most are sweet. Fun place to hang out on a weeknight or to watch a game. The bar food is typical frozen bar food, avoid.
(3)
Kevin C.

This dive bar inexplicably has a lot of beautiful women frequent it. It's honestly very bizarre. I'm not talking about cute hipster girls who would normally hang out in a bar like this. I'm talking about women dressed to the 9's ready to go to a club and they just meander in this seedy sports bar. Hey...I'm not complaining. TV's are plentiful and they have a pool table too. The bartenders are always very friendly and hot and they even have a circulating bartender who will bring you a drink so you don't have to spend 10 minutes waiving your credit card. Fun place at a reasonable price.
(4)
Christina T.

Love love love. Definitely our spot to hit up when needing a break from the Miami "scene". Bartenders are fast and super nice, good bar food, juke box, great prices...what more could you want? This is my sweatpants and no mascara hideout...nice change of pace :)
(5)
Johnny T.

I don't think anyone comes to Ted's. You *wind up* here -- usually at some forsaken hour and the duration of your time here, you valiantly struggle to put together the thoughts that trace your steps to how you came to be sitting on a bar stool being overserved. But, it's late and you've been drinking for a couple of days and you're not even quite sure if you're awake, so you order another, open your mouth, suck one down, stumble to the bathroom, stumble back to the bar, hit on a bartender, have her pity you, pass out for a little while and, somehow, wake up in your bed with your kidneys inside your body and your wallet inside your pants... vowing to never allow such an experience to happen again... until it does. Or, is that just me?
(3)
Chris C.

Anyplace where you don't have to wade through a sea of people to get to the bar is a good place in my book. Add the decent prices and hot bartenders and we have a winner!
(4)
Rebecca C.

Ah yes, Ted's. We had some good memories here on my first and only visit during our birthday pubcrawl. We tried to jam pack almost 20 people into a tiny, cozy sized bar and it all worked out well in the end. The photos were a bit squashed, with some people cropped out of the group shot. Drinks were continuously served and no one was empty handed. Whatever I was drnking, or handed, tasted just right. The bathroom was nice, the bar is a huge centerpiece in the middle. The name doesn't do it justice. It wasn't what I really imagined after hearing about this place. Overall I'd definitely come back here again as it was my favorite stop on the pubcrawl.
(4)
Dennis M.

Divey as shit but they play the actual sound from the game and the beers/food is priced right. Pool table, smoking, old men and slutty chicks are running the game here.
(3)
Ryan P.

I don't get what all the fuss is about. It is a fake dive bar in my opinion... dive bar decor with expensive drinks and rude fake tit low cut shirt bartenders. Good location but if I'm going to pay full price I'm not going to do it in a shithole.
(3)
Erica K.

Such a fun 'off the beaten path' dive bar that still is close enough to the action for either a pre-game or post-game drink. Its a super chill vibe where you can play pool and order a cheap beer and feel at home. Loved that they have touch tunes so custom music it is. Whenever I'm in miami i'll be sure to pop in here for a drink and a chill time.
(5)
Nikel M.

Get away from all the hype of South Beach, and just grab a beer with some locals and a cool vibe. Steps away from the beach. Get your money taken playing pool or throw it all in the music machine and control the vibe.
(5)
Sergio F.

The name is certainly fitting, as it is "hidden away" from the usual glamour of South Beach. However, it hits the spot for a laid back Saturday night watching sports! I stopped by Ted's on Paul W.'s "Impromptu Hockey Night" UYE (sorry about the Penguins :() and walked in to an awesome mash-up of 90's Rock and Hip-Hop (such as Linkin Park and Jay-Z) and familiar Yelper faces. Suddenly, hazy memories of a pub crawl past came flowing back as smoothly as the Stellas I enjoyed (including one with an orange slice!) and lovely lady bartenders in short shorts. There were also plenty of TV's to watch said hockey game as well as the Heat come back for a win. They also have Jager on tap! I can see this as a future celebration spot.... With plenty of tagging , band stickers and a dysfunctional towel dispenser the bathroom called out dive bar, along with the classic red brick wall. The non-Yelp crowd was pretty eclectic, and complemented our conversations to make for a fun and relaxed Saturday evening. I look forward to coming back!
(4)
Allen F.

$46.84! My eyes are blurry from drinking all night and the cigarette smoke permeates every pore of my body, so I squint at the slip of paper in my hand one more time to make sure the bill is correct. I mean, this is, after all, South Beach and I have been here the better part of 4 hours, downing beers and playing pool. This is what I am used to paying for only a coupla drinks in this overpriced haven of tourists we call South Beach, not for a fun night of drinking and camaraderie with friends and strangers, surrounded by smokin' hot bartenders and a well-stocked jukebox. I squint again and smile. Yep! I love this place and this is only one reason. Ted's Hideaway is a dive. It is a dive on South Beach that is tucked away half a block from the ocean and a stumble away from Big Pink (where you can put some food in that alcohol-filled stomach afterwards). When you come here, you find locals, people In the Biz and others who just want to grab some cold drinks and catch a conversation with friends and strangers. Nothing is forced. Everything here just works. There are no Affliction shirts, Yolo-Bro meatheads or iPhone-obsessed girls making constant duckfaces to their phone cameras to upload to Facebook! It's small and center-pieced by a bar that is always packed with people vying for the attention of some of the hottest and most pleasant bartenders in South Florida who oblige with sincerity and excellent attention. This is where you come before you go out, or after you've been out drinking or when you just want to chill, booze out with some friends. In short, there is no bad time to come here. Ted's has been a staple for locals for as long as I remember and it never changes. In a town when the hottest trend has less than 15 minutes of fame and then it is gone, Ted's can be counted on to be here, fulfilling the needs of thirsty people at all hours of day or night. One of the best reasons to come is also that the prices are very reasonable and you will not have sobering moments of spending remorse. There aren't many places in SoBe that one can say that about! I wish parking was a little more accommodating, but then again, this is still South Beach and getting here by car, bike, skateboard, rollerblades, motorcycle or flip-flops is a small price to pay to get away from it all, while being in the center of it all...
(4)
Flavia C.

So nice to know a place like this exists in south beach. I love it. Low key place to hang with friends, watch a game, play pool, or listen to the juke box The service is friendly, the prices are good and the crowd is chill. I love the neighborhood, South of Fith, my favorite part of south beach! Def a place to check out and a great break from all the posers. Its near the water and you can come as you are!
(4)
Alaina L.

Teds is a (very) small little dive bar in the SoFi neighborhood of South Beach. No cover. No dress code. Decent priced drinks. Plenty of big screens for watching your favorite (American) sports teams. Pool table. Plenty of cigarette smoke to catch that 2nd hand lung cancer you've been trying to avoid. And bartenders (all female) walking around half naked in bustiers & fishnets (at a dive bar? *shrugs shoulders* ok I guess I'll roll with it). Like most reviews have stated, Ted's is nothing special if you're new to MIA. Just a VERY laid back spot where people (usual locals) either pre-game before venturing off to their intended destination or.....drunkenly end up at the end of their night.
(3)
India B.

Do not go here for food. They gave me some frozen pizza , like hot pocket pizza or something, as an appetizer .. It was not only disgusting but it was cold in the center. Boyfriend got a burger that tasted like meatloaf. Music was good but that's all. The staff was not concerned about serving us and didn't even asked about our meal. Never again.
(1)
Elizabeth R.

I'VE BEEN GOING TO TED'S HIDEAWAY SINCE BEFORE TED WAS BORN. Maybe that's not possible. Maybe I've only been going there since before YOU were born. Yeah, that's more like it. Ted's is a great bar. Friendly folks, good drinks, reasonable prices, pool table, juke box. It's nice. It's cleaner today than it used to be. I remember when they had some couches that could get you pregnant if you sat on them in a miniskirt. And I remember walking into the women's room once and looking at a very educational illustration of a sex act I have never seen anywhere live or in pictures before or since. And while I was studying this edifying artwork, there was somebody sniffing in the stall next to me and two girls smoking in the stall after that. That was a long time ago, mind you. It's a much more wholesome atmosphere these days.
(4)
MICHELLE C.

Ted's is so cool, who knew it was tucked behind The Big Pink. Well not me until we all went there on a pub crawl. I liked the layout of the bar, the bartenders were super friendly, drinks were reasonable and they know how to make some great lemon drop shots. The jukebox was playing some great tunes and my favorite part was the crowd. Although we were there with a huge group of friends the locals who we did not know were so friendly. Chill, laid back place where you can just go have a great time amongst friendly locals and do your own thing. No snobbery here, just cool people all having a great time. Ted's you are a great dive bar that I am looking forward to visiting again. May want to check out some games here.
(4)
Tal T.

Ted's is a classic sobe dive bar. Not as grimey as The Deuce nor as artsy as Lost Weekend, it's got its niche market down pat. Customers at Ted's are drinkers. Nice, happy drinkers. The bar takes up the majority of the space inside the venue, and I like the statement made by that move. The bartenders are friendly, as is the clientele, and it's a decidedly more "american" vibe in here than most sobe spots. You can usually find both locals and tourists here and Ted's is open both during the day and well into the night. The juke box has a great selection, but there's sometimes a nasty wait on weekend nights. Happy Hour is in action even on SUNDAYS and now that it's football season I expect they will come up with some specials for this festive time of year. Bottom Line: Divey fun to be had by all at this locals' favorite friendly bar.
(4)
Jesse S.

Hot bartender in skimpy outfit , can't go wrong there . Also had us vs canada hockey on. Good selection of beers. Love dive bars
(4)
Sabrina L.

Great dive bar, cool vibe..cheap drinks and a jukebox?? yes! count me in! Great times, full bar...walking distance from the beach...I think this is a must stop on those hot summer weekends! Totally chill environment, great crowd.
(4)
Sara M.

True dive bar. A very chill atmosphere where you can sit and have a drink or play pool. By no means glamorous or a place to stop if you are looking for the glitz of South Beach. Do not come here all dressed up, it is a jeans and Tshirt kind of place. A good bar for a relaxing night. Ted's is off the beaten track and like others have said, it is somewhat hard to find, however I have not found parking to be that much of an issue. Since it's far away enough from the sobe hustle and bustle, finding an open meter was never too tough a task. The place itself is rather small and seating is not exactly in abundance, but it adds to the charm of the bar. The bartender who served me was a doll, not sure if thats because she knew the guy I was with, but she was great and came up with a bunch of fun drink suggestions. She ended up concocting a drink which she called a pineapple upside-down cake. Sure.. i'll take it! The clientele was overwhelmingly male, and there was not even a game going on or anything. Perhaps it was because the entire staff was comprised of females, but maybe its because Ted's is just a manly place. Not a place worth driving to South Beach for if you don't live in the area, but if you do live close its definitely a place to frequent for cheap drinks. And if you're coming down to south beach anyhow.. check it out!
(3)
Taylor C.

On vacation, decided to venture here with my girlfriend for the evening, both of us being bartenders we know what to expect and we aren't really picky. Considering we racked up almost a 200 dollar tab we didn't find the bartenders to be friendly at all, even after we closed out and tipped almost 80 dollars no one said thanks or even attempted to look at us again really. Was also quite disturbing watching the guy who I assumed owned the bar groping and molesting his own staff. Drinks are expensive, I didn't really pay attention to what each of our drinks were but someone sat next to me and paid 15 dollars for 2 bud lights and a can of Redbull. I don't think I will ever return here. Unless I feel like people watching again.
(3)
Richard M.

I love teds!! This is the ultimate wind down, pre-game, getting drunk when u shouldn't be, sports bar! Anyone who leaves a bad review about Teds just doesn't enjoy a good dive bar!! This place is amazing, the girls that work there are great and if u think they are rude...u were probably a bad customer!!
(5)
Whitney K.

What? I don't strike you as the type of person who goes to dive bars? Ted's is your perfect weekday watering hole. The bad bitches at the bar will sling your favorite no-frills drinks while you cozy up at the bar to watch my Miami Heat crush another one. The drinks are unimpressive and you can probably leave your heels at home for this one, but if you're looking for a place to shoot the breeze on the Beach with your friends sans the pomp and circumstance -- this is going to be your best bet. Oh, and don't forget to lave your John Hancock on the bathroom wall.
(4)
Andy D.

Ted's hideaway, is that Bohemian Bar, that when you go there your automatically cool! There are the misses, parking sucks, but it is South Beach, and parking sucks everywhere. Ted's is the proverbial 30 year old bar, that never adjusted to the trendier times, or it's just trendy to be seen in this bar now. The staff was great, and service was very good, considering the bar was packed. Ted's brings in a diverse group too, making the people watching experience all the more better.
(4)
Jonah K.

Dive bar, with a good location. The bar staff is great as well. The drinks are reasonable for it's location, but still not dive bar cheap. I have been here several times and usually meet interesting people versus the normal Miami trash :)
(2)
Andrew J.

Classic South Beach dive bar. I haven't been there in a while. Pros: cheap drinks, good music, cool crowd and all female bar staff. Cons: Bottled beer only, foul cigarette smoke which kills it for me.
(2)
Shawn P.

The best dive bar on South Beach for a combination, a great drinks, good prices and great service. The bartenders are super friendly and have no problem taking a drink back and making it the way that you like it but they pour pretty hard so be careful. Also they pretty hot, not in the over top South Beach $15 a drink club bar way , but in that Maxim's Girl Next Door hot, which is better and the bartender with the long black hair and nerdy Clark Kent's glasses .... ( oh never mind ) Um yes ... where was I ? yes they have a juke box , pool table and crappy food that ease a lot better after a few drinks especially the sliders. Great place to start the night or end it but don't make it a middle stop. Oh one more thing, since I am a regular there and my mom told me I was good looking, there is some good looking men there Flo !! " Tip-bits: No need to dress up, no hotties in this place"
(5)
Joseluis A.

sketchy hidden bar south of fifth. it is possible that the apocalypse will start at teds. what i love about teds is that its almost always douche-free. the pours are mean and the barternders are fast and sweet. teds is not the place to go on a first date unless shes awesome and she suggests it. in which case, you better be ready to step it up bro cause she aint fucking around.
(4)
Michelle W.

Oh how I like you Ted :) I love this little place. The servers & bartenders are friendly, the people are nice, interesting and of varied phases of life.... always makes for a good time at a bar. The beer is cheap, there are TVs, a pool table & bathrooms with toilet paper. Great place to rub elbows with locals and have a nice relaxed evening! The bartender even replaced my half drank beer for free when it was spilled in a hockey scuffle. What's not to love?? by the way... this is a smoke 'em if you got 'em place...all you smoke sensitive types may not approve....
(4)
Will S.

Anyone that doesn't like Ted's is either a goddamn commie, or a typical miami douche. The patron's of Ted's don't take kindly to reds or feminine products. Just a fair warning the best days to drink at Ted's are just the ones that end in "Y" PS If you don't like stiff drinks and Johnny Cash, don't let the door hit you in the ass!
(5)
Rick C.

Rude and unfriendly manager at night. She was more interested in giving another woman a back rub at the bar than to help make drinks when it was very busy. She turned off a song I paid for in the juke box because one of her regulars whom was obnoxiously drunk said she hated that song and to change it. The drinks are shitty too. Don't waste your time or money there.
(1)
Devin V.

This place seems so out of place in the glitzy South Beach scene, but that's part of it's charm. The bartenders are all friendly, hot babes, there's plenty of seating at the bar, and they even have a pool table. Worth a stop if you're in the area!
(4)
Eve C.

I'm a big Ted's Hideaway fan. It's a great dive bar that you can find yourself in on any night of the week, and no matter what you have going on in your life, you'll manage to have a great time! The jukebox offers a pretty good selection, there are plenty of tvs to catch that game that you've just got to see, and the drinks are very reasonably priced (as far as South Beach goes)! What's not to love? Oh, did I mention it's located right next door to Big Pink? And they even have a limited bar food menu, in case you need something to eat right NOW. Ted's is great for tourists who don't want to do the whole club scene, but still want to have a great time. And Ted's is even better for locals who are sick of paying South Beach prices for miniscule drinks.
(4)
Martin S.

Hot friendly bartenders and normal local-types. Good for a drink during the day and a game of pool.
(5)
Chris M.

Came here with 3 fellow students/conference attendees on a Thursday night. We were all a bit overdressed, but made to feel at home immediately. Bartenders are easy on the eyes. No attitude, no bull, just cold beer and generous liquor pours, in a true sports bar atmosphere.
(3)
Teresa K.

This place is all about the people. The staff are always friendly and smiling no matter how hectic, crowded and obnoxiously drunk the customers get. The crowd on the drinking side of the bar is always an amusing, eclectic decently friendly crowd. The drinks are not exactly dive bar cheap despite the dive bar atmosphere but better than what you might find elsewhere in South Beach.
(3)
Lisa C.

Awful! The food is stuff I can get on the frozen food aisle at my supermarket. Absolutely gross. This is a total old man's bar. Local dive. Nothing classy about it. The only people who should be in here are the people who live within the surrounding 3 blocks. Zero vibe. I cam here to watch the last of the 3rd and 4th quarters of the miserable Jets/Steelers playoff game. The Clevelander was it's usual ghetto self so I pretty much let the dude I was with suggest where to go. Let me say this dude lives in SouthBEach but should may as well live in Appalachia cause the sophistication level just isn't where it should be for SouthBeach. The guy knows of NOTHING, claims he's a simple guy. Yes and this simple man is in his simple man's bar Ted's Hideaway hiding away from all the great Miami has to offer...ALONE!! But..Ted's gets a star cause they did have rolling rock on tap. Yum!
(1)
Mercy R.

Not to crazy about the heavy cigarette smell.
(3)
Marcos R.

Classic South Beach dive bar institution. It's really more of a sports bar than a dive, but Ted's can be both at the same time. People here are not afraid to hoot and hollar while watching some football. It often gets pretty loud. The beers and drinks are pretty cheap and they've got 2 happy hours going on and as a result, Ted's tends to churn out a bit of an unruly sausage fest pretty much ALL THE TIME. It's right around the corner from Big Pinks dinner, if you know where that is.
(3)
Ericstevenc T.

Great dive bar south of fifth
(5)
Gabi B.

love this place , I've been a handful of times and always had fun :) its definitely a dive bar and has the atmosphere of one. It reminds me of places back home (west coast of fl) its the type of place I prefer to Miami clubs and lounges. The drinks aren't fancy but if you have something in mind they'll give it a shot for a laugh , the bartenders are friendly and talk easily with you which makes it a good experience. For the most part the crowd is good too, the pool table can get a bit feisty with the line system but usually it's all in good fun. I'll be back I'm sure :)
(5)
Pierre K.

I've been going to Ted's for years and it is one of my favorite places on the beach. It is a very casual unpretentious hangout with cheap drinks and it is right next to Big Pink which means you can get a good buzz and soak it up with some good food. Oh and did I forget to say that the bartenders are HOT!! One thing... just avoid the bathrooms if you can, they are disgusting but then again, the bar is kind of divish. I highly recommend it!
(4)
Liz R.

Maybe it was the fact that we had to walk for 30 blocks but I couldn't have been happier to see that purple neon sign glistening in the distance. This was the last third and last stop of our dive pub crawl. I had never been to Ted's Hideaway and I was pleasantly surprised when i stepped into this dive bar. The staff, all female bartenders, were very nice, the drinks were cheap and the people were really cool and low-key, compared to your regular Beach crowd. Regular bar with flat screens playing football and sticky wooden floor. It's definitely a fine place to hang out with your friends and have a couple of drinks to start or end your night.
(3)
Mike K.

The best dive bar for locals on South Beach. The bartenders, beyond being beautiful, are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet, and are usually happy to hang out and get to know their patrons. Drinks are well-priced, and the crowd is pretty much all locals so it's definitely a pleasant vibe. I just moved off the beach, and Ted's is one of the places I will absolutely miss the most.
(5)
Paul W.

If I lived in this area, Ted's would be one of my regular haunts. Cheap beers ($12 pitchers or $4 bottles on a Friday night in SOBE??!?) and a varied clientele from frat boys there to shoot some pool and watch the game to couples and older guys just there to suck down some suds and chat with whoever happens to sit near them. There are 2 large LCD screens over the middle of the bar and 4 more smaller screens around the inside perimeter of the bar area. On the night I was here to catch the Stanley Cup Finals, they had that game on 2 of the screens, and a few baseball games on the others. My only comment is that if you are coming here to watch sports, don't necessarily expect to be able to hear the commentary. On this night, though it was the final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs, they kept the jukebox playing rather than the audio from the game. Not a biggie since this game was being carried by NBC and their series coverage generally sucked, but when there were injuries and some other things occurred during the game, it would've been nice to hear what was going on. Some have called this a "dive bar". I wouldn't exactly agree with that, I'd just say that it's a no-frills locals bar with a pool table, jukebox, decent beer selection, cheap drinks and a limited food menu with reasonable prices. To me it didn't seem like your typical dark and "down and dirty" dive bar. As others have mentioned, if you're bothered by cigarette smoke this may not be the place for you when it's packed. Ted's is located in the same building as Big Pink if you're familiar with that area.
(4)
Justin F.

Really hard to find a place to park..... They rock an all female staff which was awesome and its an great bar to watch a Heat game !
(3)
G B.

My favorite part of Miami Beach. Standard bar food, great drink prices, cool mix of people.
(4)
Christopher K.

This place is good and almost great. The bartenders are hot, fast and friendly. The decor is on the mark. Lots of old wood, well aged. Lighting is also dead on, dark, den-like and moody, yet not so dark you can't see who you are talking to. The sound & acoustics are also dead on; the sound is full bodied but not so overwhelming that you can't talk to people. The one bad thing, the one thing that is keeping them from being great, is they have this bad habit of shaking their shots (aparently a Miami thing) & when they do, they bruise them - a lot. If they can nip that one habit in the butt, they will be great (and earn their fifth star).
(4)
Ivan M.

Great little dive bar on the beach, filled with locals, classic rock always fills the room, and the staff is very friendly. Not very clean, smells like beers been spilled on the floor many times over the years. But it's charming specifically because it's so different then everything around it on SoBe.
(3)
Greg B.

Super duper Dive and I'm all about it. Teds is a place where you go to grab a drink after work or after a good night of drinking and BS with SOBEs finest aka me. They have a solid selection of beers on tap and a few TVs to keep you entertained. Thursday night is ladies night so be prepared to bring your D game to get er done. If your brave, you can order food but I would rather just say my goodbyes and mosey on down to Pinks right next door instead.
(3)
Florence Y.

If you are going to be a dive bar in Miami beach, at least have good drinks to make up for sticky floors and stinky bathrooms! Like Emily V said, 3rd stop on the pub crawl..you would think the bartender-ress/waitress would have given us some kind of special for the 13 of us..nope. Rolling rock or blue moon...we did a round of tequila shots there, I suppose that added to the fun factor. TVs for the football game and a pool table in the back. Tip-bits: No need to dress up, no hotties in this place Disclaimer: I still think that mr conc. camp guy is hot, I just have to feed him. :)
(3)
Ro R.

This is Not a Gay bar, yelp has this bar listed under the Wrong Category, when searching for gay bars in Miami, this bar keeps coming up in the list.... This is a crappy sports bar w/ servers that have fake boobs and too much collagen injected into their bodies! Cigarette smoke fills the air with all the straight Dude Bros watching sports on the 20 TVs. If $9 for vodka and $6 for draft beer is cheap, I'll drink at my condo alone!
(1)
Kathy G.

Stop number 5 on pub crawl... Sorry I don't remember much. I know I had fun as I always do at Ted's. I remember singing my heart out along with the jukebox. I know I am always in the way of a pool game. It is one of favorite bars on the beach. I always end up making friends with a new bar buddy and hearing interesting stories. It's even better now that Prive and Opium closed so you don't get a bunch of posers here after they finish partying across the street.
(4)
Arturo M.

One of the few dive bars on the beach. I'd been to Ted's once before, but had *forgotten* I'd gone (yeah, that's how drunk we got). So the other day I'm at Club Deuce for my favorite intern's going away shindig, and once happy hour ends at the Deuce (re: 7pm) I asked the bartender where we should go. Ted's Hideaway. Which I had to be told by friends I'd been to before and loved. Hmmm. So we went, and although I thought I'd been there for the first time (when in fact it was my second) I did in fact love it. The drinks are some of the cheapest you'll find on the beach (although not cheap compared to some ghetto places on the mainland) there's a pool table, sports on the tv, etc. etc., everything you expect from a dive. Also, not to judge, but I think if you go in there later at night you can find some "ladies of the night" along with their "bodyguards." I'm just sayin. . . .
(4)
Felecia W.

Update! Im upping the star level. Teds has won my heart and by heart I mean credit card. Ashely and I find ourselves here usually on a Tuesday (gulp...) night. The bartenders are fun and bouncy and know what we drink. We always meet some fun people there, but in all honesty, whos not fun at 4am?! The Juke box is our best friend, and no one even blinks when we belt out all the lyrics to "Whats up" by the 4 Non Blonds. I heart Teds. It IS smokey as a MoFo, but by late night, whos really checking? Oh. and the food is decent. I didnt know there was food until last week. Its all like 7.00 which that alone is reason to eat! The Nachos are huuuuge! Get them, it will help you drink longer. older version: We strolled in around 2am and it was packed with a lot of people out for a good time. Everyone was in their late 20's early 30's and having a grand ol' time. This place is kind of divey, but by that, I mean that its not your typical Miami bar. My only complaint is the cigarette smoke. It was SO over powering that it was putting a damper on my fun level. Either way though, I love this place and will totally be back in the future!
(5)
Emily V.

Ted's...not impressive... This was our third stop on the Pub Crawl last night. Beer selection: sucked. Crowd: hmmm...Service: ok. Bathrooms: Disgusting! We did manage to snag couches and tables at this place. It's a pretty big place with pool tables and TVs playing the football games. They only had really crappy "beer": Millet Lite, Bud, Bud Light...you get the picture. But the waitress was ok. The bathroom stalls...you could contract a disease just by looking at them! Don't know if I'll be returning to this place...
(3)
Ethan T.

Far to long since my last visit. This dive bar is small, dark, and a place to be left alone. A pool table and a couple TV's create the basic entertainment, and the location makes it a good stop off after a hot beach day. I know I will be stopping in more often.
(2)
michelle z.

By far the rudest bartenders I have ever seen! I tried to give this place another try but again I was treated like dirt. The bartender today was loud rude and overwhelming. I will never go back here and will make it my mission in life to let the world know how horrible the service is!
(1)
Parisa S.

I'm not the dive-bar type, but if I were, Ted's would probably be the dive bar for me. Good music, a pool table, strong drinks, and on the night I was there, an Elvis impersonator. What's not to love? Plus, sometimes you need a break from the SoBe scene, ya know?
(3)
Sabrina Anna C.

This place is a real Dive Bar right in South Beach! Right next to Big Pink, Ted's Hideaway is a great place to either start or end your night. And sometimes it IS your night! The drinks aren't too expensive here and it has a good little vibe going. It's got more of a homey feel than anything else in the Beach. There's a pool table and some darts, as well as tvs to watch all your favorite games! Not known by many, and far away from the strip, this place is a good place to get away and have some drinks. They serve food, but I've never tried it... I usually stick to liquid diets, unless I'm too drunk, then we need something with bread to soak it up! ;-) It's always a good time during a game, as the entire place gets into it with the hootin and hollerin! Yes, I did say that. And you can always play your own games while you're there.
(4)

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Address : 124 2nd St
Miami Beach, FL, 33139
Phone (305) 532-9869
Click To Get Directions

Opening Hours

Mon :12:00 pm - 5:00pm

Specialities

Accepts Credit Cards : Yes
Parking : Street
Bike Parking : Yes
Wheelchair Accessible : Yes
Good for Groups : Yes
Ambience : Divey
Noise Level : Loud
Music : Juke Box
Good For Dancing : No
Alcohol : Full Bar
Happy Hour : Yes
Best Nights : Fri, Sat, Sun
Coat Check : No
Smoking : Yes
Outdoor Seating : No
Has TV : Yes

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Ted’s Hideaway

124 2nd St, Miami Beach, FL, 33139

Ted’s Hideaway Menu

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